Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Hee hee hee!

I got this "Questions I wish they would ask on those ubiquitous ‘Get to Know Your Friends’ email surveys" from Kristin at this blog. I thought I'd play along.

1. What time is it in Guam now? (best estimate)

Thursday 9AM

2. Do you like baloney?

Yes. I like BOLOGNA


3. Favorite shade of green:

Peridot

4. Fake name that you use when drunk strangers are trying to get to know
you at a diner at 3 in the morning:


Alex

5. Fake name of your imaginary significant other that you use to deter
drunk strangers who are trying to get to know you at a diner at 3 in the morning:


Joe - so unoriginal it has to be true!

6. We've all seen those ridiculous "tour riders" on smokinggun.com. If you were a rock star what would your ego-driven demands be?

I'd have a masseuse and a reflexologist available at all times. Dirty Martinis with EXTRA JUMBO olives and lots of 'em are the preferred drink, Margaritas and Sangria are the only other two beverages to be served. George Clooney will serve drinks and nachos with lots of cheese, chili, sourcream and guacamole in his boxer briefs.

7. Who do you think has the most meaningless life?

Paris Hilton

8. You're holding up a convenience store. Somebody tripped the silent alarm.You have three minutes before the cops come. What do you take? Explain.

I take a header onto the floor, having tripped over my feet in my rush to get the hell outta there. I knock head on the counter on the way down and wake up in jail. My mug shots have a guard's hands on either side of my head, holding it up. See - no life of crime for me.

9. Most puzzling thing you've ever seen at a bar...

A bouncer making out with a woman who was just thrown out of the bar. He was leaning out the door so they could swap spit while she was outside.

10. Space aliens?

Absolutely

11. What color does "puce" most resemble?

Spoiled split pea soup

12. Funniest thing anyone said to you at the end of a date:

I'm just starting to be social and out there and this was really fun and I'd love to do it again.

13. Theeeeeee most embarrassing MP3 on your computer/iPod:

Donovan's Greatest Hits

14. Song that makes you an emotional basket-case every, single time to hear it so much so that you actually avoid listening to it:

Thank You by Dido

15. Ever been to the opera?

No. I bet it's a blast

16. Dentist chair. Do you keep your eyes opened or closed?

Closed. Please don't let me see that metal thing coming at me.

17. Ever eat paste as a kid?

No. ICK!

18. Ever try one of your dog's treats just for the heck of it?

On a dare. I suppose that explains a lot.

19. Which one of the Brady Bunch kids do you most identify with?

Jan

20. In your opinion what has been the most romantic love song written in the last 10 years?

Brick House... (HAHAHAHAHAHA!

21. Be honest. Do you sometimes want to punch Eva Longoria...

Yeah - really really hard. Then pull her hair.

22. Wait, I wasn't finished...do you sometimes want to punch Eva Longoria in the face?

I thought that went without saying.

23. What piece of American culture do you absolutely loathe and when you express it, people think you're a Communist?

Maybe not culture but - Bruce Springsteen. Hate him. It's doubly bad since I'm a native Jersey Girl.

24. So what do you hate about Christmas?

Planning parties for work and then not being invited.

25. Do you sometimes believe that you are in The Matrix?

No.

26. Really?

My life would be a LOT better if it were all made up.

27. Did you ever wish you were an astronaut?

No.

28. What time is it in Guam now?

Thursday 8:37 PM

4 comments:

Dorothy said...

I'm a little out of touch, who is Eva Longoria?

Penny Karma said...

That was funny!!

buttercup said...

Dorothy - Eva Longoria is one of the Desperate Housewives.

Dorothy said...

Guess I need to pay attention a little more eh?! :-)
I just noticed the name you use to fake a boyfriend. I used to use Joe too! So easy to remember.