Monday, April 18, 2005

Sad Today

My brother moved to NC this past weekend. In a way, it's an end of an era.

When I moved back to NJ a few years ago, he opened his door and let me stay with him for as long as I needed to. He thought I'd be living with him for a couple of years, but as it turned out I bought my place and moved in a mere 5 months. Those 5 months were filled with laughter and silliness, marathon games of Rummy 500 and Scrabble. Hitchcock movies every Sunday night. Delicious meals while listening to Symphony Hall broadcasts. He is one of two people who can make me laugh till I can't breathe.

He's wanted to move to NC for a while now. Ever since my parents moved there, he's come to love the area and the lifestyle. He and my Dad have a lot in common, like taking apart old cars, going to the gun club for target shooting. I suspect that he really missed hanging around with my Dad.

I know he is just a phone call away, but I feel like I've lost my best friend. He was always the one I turned to first for help and advice. We had lunch almost every Saturday (Wendy's!) and then ran errands together or went on our way. We had family dinner every couple of weeks with our brother and SIL and the nephews. Or we'd take our nephews out to dinner so that DB & DSIL could have a night out for themselves. And don't forget he was the one who took me to the vet's office when I finally made the decision to put Rascal to sleep.

On Saturday we said our goodbyes. I thought I was going to be the one to break down, but he cracked first and that just started me. So I made it a quick hug and a "I'll see you soon. Drive carefully and call me when you get there. I love you." I walked to my car, as he walked inside, both sniffing and trying to slow the hitching breaths like little kids who skinned their knees in the play ground.

He called me last night to say that he and my Dad arrived safely. He said "I'm home!" and after a brief conversation, we hung up and I started to cry a little again.

Who's going to call me with "programming notes" about good TV shows that are about to start?

This is going to take some getting used to.


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