Tuesday, August 05, 2008

Venting and a WooHOO!

Grab a beverage and a snack. This is L-O-N-G!!!

Vent Part 1

I have this friend and neighbor, we'll call her JtH. JtH is a really good friend who would give me the shirt off her back if she could afford to. She’s seen me through break-ups, unemployment, anxiety attacks, and watched the kitties when I was away.

She has a couple faults. First, she is an internet dating site junkie. She is on every free dating site out there. When she first moved in (a couple months after I did), she was involved with a guy she met on the internet and had been with him for just under 4 years. Seems he was an internet dating junkie too and was constantly cheating on her.

When she broke up with him, she went back into the online dating with a vengeance. She talked me into trying it and I did. I met a few guys, dated a couple, got involved with one and was hurt by him. I took all my profiles down because I didn't like the process and it wasn't working for me.

JtH's second fault is that she expects the guys she meets on the internet to be "monogamous" once they write her. They can't be looking at any other profiles or on any other sites. She monitors when they are on and off line (through Yahoo IM and whichever tools each dating site has in place. It's too convoluted for me). Usually the guys are happy to chat and e-mail all morning and evening at first. Then a couple days later, when it gets a little too much to keep up, the tend to quiet down and may not answer/initiate contact as frequently.

This makes her mental. JtH calls me to rant that "John Doe sent me an e-mail last night, which I answered and I've not heard from him all morning." Or, "I got an e-mail this morning at 8:22 and I still have no reply back. It's 10:15 AM. Yesterday he was answering right away. Doesn’t he know I need communication? How else am I going to get to know him?"

Then she gets indignant and pissy and finally blocks the poor guy. He's trying to meet someone and have a life that isn't on the computer all the free hours of his day and lucky him meets JtH. Poor guy's had a full blown monogamous relationship with someone in less than 72 hours and they didn't even know it. I think they're lucky when she blocks them.


I joined Facebook a while ago because some of my knitting friends are on it and I wanted to see what it was all about. There is an area there where you can affiliate yourself with a High School or College. I affiliated myself with my High School and a couple of months ago I re-connected with one of my childhood friends. It was so great to catch up with her.

Then, about a week ago, I get a notification that a "friend" request has been sent to me. I have to "accept" this friend. I practically fall out of my chair because it's the guy from High School. The athlete who had brains, and was hot on top of it all. The one all the girls wanted to date. You know what I mean. We all had them in school. I think "Of course I'll be your friend." He looks as good now as he did then. Better actually because he's a teddy bear now, and in HS he was much thinner.

We exchange e-mails on Facebook (one each), then he sends me his cell # and asks for mine. The next day he is texting me and then calling and texting. But not to the point where it's annoying or overly pushy. On Thursday he asks me out and we make plans for Saturday night. We have a great time. He is a gentleman. He kisses me when he picks me up, we have dinner and after we find a dark street and make out like teenagers. It was a great date.

We left it that he'll call and we'll make plans for another date.

We text A LOT last week. Wednesday - Saturday morning, back and forth over and over. There is no way I expected him to keep up that pace of texting.

This week he's on a business trip. I got a text on Monday morning saying he was away for a couple days this week and we'd talk soon.

Vent Part 2

So, I told JtH all about HS guy.

I know it's all my fault for even telling JtH about him and the date and everything. I was lulled into a false sense of, of, Ok I was excited. She has me going crazy now. I didn’t hear from HS guy on Sunday, but I didn’t expect to because he had a family obligation.

So Woo HOO; until I told JtH about it. At first she was very happy. Then, Monday lunch time, she text me asking if I had heard from him again. I didn’t. So then she calls at dinner. No I still hadn’t heard from him. Now I’m starting to think maybe I should have heard from him more during the day. I start to worry.

But wait a minute. He is on a BUSINESS TRIP. He was decent enough to let me know he was away and most likely busy doing, ya know, BUSINESS, for the next few days. But JtH, after complaining about the newest fly in her web and how he isn’t communicating enough, tries to compare her fly to HS guy.

“He could have found a minute in his day to text you again.” I got mad. I told her to stop pissing on my parade. That I was perfectly happy with the message I got earlier in the day. She backed off.

Then today after work she asks if I’ve heard from him yet. I haven’t and I really didn’t expect to either. So she starts in about how she is starting to suspect that there is something more than what is on the surface of HS guy and that if he was really interested he would have contacted me more during the day. “After all you haven’t heard from him in 2 whole days.” I. Flipped. OUT.

How does it become 2 whole days when I heard from him YESTERDAY???

I laid it on the line at that point. She is no longer allowed to talk about HS guy, or tell me her opinions of anything he does or doesn’t do. She is not allowed to even THINK anything about him and me.

But she planted the damn seed. Now I’m spending time worrying when I should just be happy that I’ll hear from him soon. I’m not crazy am I?

I’m off to focus on the positive.

And if you’ve made it this far…



turtlegirl76 said...

JtH sounds like one spastic bitch. Step away from the crazy.

Kaye said...


Oh, sorry, where was I?

Yes, she sounds a tad nutty. Yeah dating in the internet age is a bit different than the unplugged way, but dude, people have lives they have to live. He's doing his business. Betcha anything you hear from him Friday.

Crazy is catching. Until she simmers down, do as TG said!

Kim said...

I will look for you on Facebook - what a great resource!

Your neighbor is lethal - quit worrying and just enjoy all of the anticipation your situation must be presenting.