Tuesday, March 03, 2009

Online dating = blog fodder

I’ve joined one of the on-line dating sites, one of the bigger ones that you see advertised all over the place. I’ve been a member since January and have had absolutely no luck. I’ve had a lot of guys looking at my profile, but a very few actually contacting me.

I’ve been trying to push myself to scan all the profiles of the guys who fit my criteria, but I have a bunch of hang ups that prevent me from doing that. I figure I’m interested in them, but they would never be interested in me because I’m overweight. Some days I get over it and I’ll write a guy who really stands out. Usually I don’t even get a response. Why do guys do that?

The one time I did actually get a response we chatted on line a bit and then started chatting on the phone. After a few long phone calls we finally arranged to meet for a drink one Saturday evening.

We met at 5:00 at a local chain type restaurant. I should have known that the reason he had a photo sort of far away wasn’t so I could see a full body shot, but because he was much better looking the further away from him you were. Remember that line from Tootsie?

“Can you pull further back?"
“How about Cleveland?”

Anyway, we shook hands outside the restaurant and he asked for a table. He said he was hungry, and I was too so we decided to eat. Neither of us ordered a drink (I probably should have). As we were looking at the menu I tried to make small talk and it was nothing but awkward silence. That should have been another sign.

He did open up after we ordered. He asked me how my week was and I told him about a special ID card I had to apply for so I could continue to work at one of my company's project sites. This site happens to have access to open waterways and frequently has tanker ships pull into their berths. The ID proves that I'm a US citizen and that I haven't jumped off a ship or something, but I digress. My date then went off on a series of tangents; he wondered if the people who work around the Great Lakes would need the same ID and then he eventually started telling me all about the wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald.

That’s right. The wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald. He stayed on this topic for the remainder of our time together. Now just try and get that song out of your head. ;-)

There was a table of women next to us (and behind him) and as they were leaving one of the women caught my eye and she gave me an “oh you poor thing I’m so sorry” look.

We both paid for our meals and then left the restaurant. My knee was hurting and I couldn’t walk as quickly as normal, but even if I did, this guy would still have practically ran from me to his car. I had to yell “It was nice meeting you” at his back. I kid you not. I was so rattled by this that I stood next to a car that looked similar to mine, pushing the unlock on my key fob before I realized that my car was 2 spaces over. I was in my car, on the way home shortly before 6:00. Fastest dinner date ever.

If nothing else, I have a good story for the blog.


Roberta Lipp said...

Oh, Grasshopper, you have so much to learn.

NEVER a meal. One beverage. And not a bottomless cup of coffee--one beverage and out.

Try to not have phone conversations. They can occasionally eliminate someone, but more often than not, they will make you feel comfortable with someone, even attachy, prematurely.

Love the 'we each paid for our meals'.

Kaye said...

The legend lives on from the Chippewa on down
Of the big lake they call Gitche Gumee

I was actually thinking about your Gollum last night---funny that you posted about it too!!! I think we're psychically connected--well when it comes to Gollums and Goats. Ha ha!

I'm telling you--the viking hat picture...post it!!!

Karen said...

Don't know what the wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald is/was, but I'm sure that's not really something anyone wants to talk about on a date. And Roberta is right...ONE beverage, not a meal!!

Patrizia's Adventures in Knitting said...

I feel your pain and confusion sistah! It is sad how much fodder the land of internet dating provides. You must hold on tight to your self-esteem and grab those nuggets of humor every chance you get!!