Tuesday, February 01, 2005

Adverse reactions to doing what's right

My downstairs neighbor is in deep financial trouble. She has almost had her place foreclosed on twice that I know of and I don't know how she keeps getting out of it. In the past she has asked me to lend her some money, nothing more than like $40 or $50. She has always paid me back in full when she said she would. Early last week she calls me and asks if she can borrow $100. I don't have it to lend to her, not to mention I really don't want her to think I can always lend her money when she needs it. So then she tells me that her brother had just driven up to NJ from FL because her Dad is back in the hospital in ICU. No sooner did he arrive here in NJ than he had to turn around and drive back home because one of their dogs was very ill and dying. He and his wife are both unemployed and she doesn't drive so she couldn't get the dog to the vet in time. My neighbor gave him money for gas so he could get back down there and also for whatever vet bill there was (once the SIL got the dog there) and for cremation of their pet.

A couple of days later while on the way home I get a call on my cell and it's my neighbor. She asked me if I could stop at the bank and take out money so she could borrow it. She didn't have money to give to her kids for lunch for the next couple of days. I got so mad. I told her no, I didn't have money she could borrow. Then she tries to make me feel guilty and I got madder. I hung up quickly after saying something lame. Can you even believe the nerve? She chose her brother and his dog over her OWN KIDS. Why should I feel bad about that? She made her choice and why should I have to bail her out? NO!!!

The very next day I broke out in a rash all over my head, face and neck. Lovely. I slap on an extra heavy coating of make-up and head to work. I can't take Benadryl which will stop the itching because I'll be asleep at my desk, so I deal with the itch and the rash till I get home, take a Tylenol PM (has Benadryl in it) and crash out. I wake up Friday morning with the same rash, only redder and hives on my eyelids and under my eyes (on my eye bags). I go to work without make-up or contacts and try my best to hide from the general public.

I still have the itchy rash. I have no idea what it's from. No new products (hair, make-up, lotions, shampoos or conditioners, detergents, soaps, etc). I talked to my Mom on Sunday and she told me she thought my neighbor gave me the rash. Ain’t stress grand?

So now I'm wondering what it is with standing up for myself and this stress induced rash thing. Is doing what's right for me and what I believe in so hard that I end up with actual physical ailments? At least when I was a doormat I had nice clear non-itchy skin. It's really a toss up what I prefer right now.

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