Tuesday, April 12, 2005


My mind has been tossing and twirling and spinning and I can't shut the damn thing down. I was in bed at 9PM last night (even tho I wanted to work on an extra surprise for my exchange gift to Sophia), and back up at midnight, then two, then 5 then I slept through the alarm.

I dashed out the door and now, just this second I remembed that I forgot to take the trash out so my place is going to smell like a land fill when I get home. I was so wrapped up in trying to make this decision, that I was speeding along the highway in the left lane and I almost missed my exit from one highway onto another. I had to cut across 4 lanes of traffic to make it the exit. Thank GOD there was an opening and I could make my move safely.

After being a little rattled because I never had to do that before, I settled down into the rest of my ride. I couldn't get over to the right lane to the EXIT ONLY lane that would take me to the third highway and ultimately to my office and so I decided to go on an alternate route (which I switch between since I end up in the same place anyway). I took the next exit, made a right and headed to the light which would bring me out to the third highway. In front of me there are two cars stopped waiting for a chance to make a left onto a side street. I pull to the right to go around them, in a legal lane no less, and this car scoots out from the street on the left and cuts in front of me and almost hit me. I slammed on the breaks, tires screeching and rubber burning as I watched the car's back end narrowly miss my front end. Holy CRAP!!!!

I didn't have time to honk. I didn't give her a dirty look or flip her the NJ State bird or anything, mostly because I was in shock. Later I got to thinking that, if she was half as pre-occupied as I was when I narrowly missed my exit, it was no wonder she didn't see me.

So that made me come to a decision about BFP. Why am I laboring over this decision? It's distracting me and if I don't take action now, I could maybe not have a near miss on the road. Then I'll never know if he meant what he said, and was serious about wanting to get back together and if we will be as good together as I think we could be. I'm going to go ahead and see what happens.

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